Life Meditation Musings Quiet Reflections Uncategorized

Quiet Observations

The sounds of everyday life.

The gleeful shouts as my neighbor’s kids play.

The pounding of a broom as someone airs out their rugs.

The soft breeze rustling the tree branches.

A distant fire truck racing by.

City traffic on a faraway city street.

The ting ting sound of a stirring pot as someone makes tonight’s dinner.

Spoon to cup during the stirring of tea.

The smell of fresh laundry wafting in the air.

The way the sunlight hits the pavement.

Hear the quiet parts easily, see the subtleties in daily life, smell the faint scents in the air.

Looking out my window and witnessing the fullness of a quiet day in life.

Autumn Life Pondering Reflections Seasons

Autumn is Here.

I’m sitting by my window, a cup of tea in hand. I hear a dog barking outside.

There’s a crispness in the air.

Will the air whisper its thoughts to me?

Autumn is here.

Red leaves. Brown leaves.

Squash at the farmer’s market.

Autumn is here.

Candles lit, scented and not.

Plenty of blankets and pillows thrown about, making home feel cozy.

Thick socks on my feet.

Autumn is here.

Bushes throbbing with the lush greens of fall.

Autumn is here.

Far away thoughts. Far away memories of times gone by.

This is my season.

Autumn is here.

Sweaters. Boots. Long walks in contemplation.

This is my season. This is my mood.

Autumn is here.

Changes Meditation Musings Pondering Reflections Uncategorized

Pandemic Contemplations

  So, it’s been a minute. The pandemic, coronatine, quarantine, whatever we are calling it, gave me a nice brain fog.  I inhaled in shock and it took me a really long time to exhale. I, like everyone else, was caught by surprise. I’m not a stranger to a lockdown. When I need to focus inward or learn something new, I’ve quarantined myself many times.  I don’t want the world disrupting my learning curve, so I was not completely opposed to a shutdown. I, however, have never had the experience of the entire planet having to shutdown with me.  I can take it. I can go with the flow. Can everybody else?

  Is “shock” a good word for the feelings I felt? You bet! I know how to be quiet. I know when I need to be quiet to allow new information in. Most of the planet, I’m not so sure about. At first I was grateful for the rest. I saw it as an opportunity for the planet to reset.  How long would it take I wondered. How long would it take for enough people on the planet to learn to think in new ways? 

  After my initial panic, I started to see it as a beautiful opportunity to pivot. Pandemic contemplations I’m calling it.  We all have an opportunity to look at our lives, to really look at our little worlds, our bubbles, and decide what we love, what we really don’t need, and what we can live without. We can look at the things, the many many things we can let go of.  It can be a nice surprise to see how much we can really don’t need and can let go of. Honey, people are cleaning out closets, and garages, reorganizing homes and giving away massive quantities. It’s freeing.  How long will it last?  Will this new way of being stick? How many people will it take to create a tipping point for the whole world to change?

  There are a million conversations to be had right now. How can we maintain the good things this world slowdown is showing us? The air is cleaner. The world is quieter. I cannot tell you how much I love waking up in the morning and can actually hear birds chirping! I also love the fact that I don’t hear people rushing off to places in robot fashion without taking the time to think about why they are doing it and if it’s really what they want, or if it’s worth it.  

  Cooking meals, eating with the other members of the household, gardening, baking breads, putting together jigsaw puzzles, crafting in hundreds of new ways, rediscovering what a slow existence is and how good it feels.  Going deeper. I love it, but I know not everybody does.  Not everyone wants to sit with their thoughts.

  Here’s the good thing though, many people welcomed the opportunity to sit with their thoughts.  They didn’t even know they wanted to do it but here’s this opportunity.  The whole planet didn’t have a choice.  

We’re discovering what the definition of real power is. We’re seeing what real power looks like, or is it that we have the time to define for ourselves what real power is? We can define for ourselves how we want to participate in the world.  You know what? That can be really scary.  We’re accustomed to having the world dictate to us what we should be doing, and now in a quiet world, in a world shut down, we get to decide for ourselves how we want to participate in the world.  The world had to get sleepy for its wakeup call. I being a contrarian, I being the person who doesn’t always want to follow a crowd is pleased at the prospect of a shift.  

There is so much more to discuss, so I’m going to take these pandemic contemplations in small bites. How are you doing?

Changes Inspiration Pondering

Broken things.

Breaking up is hard to do…wait.  No it isn’t. I broke a plate a few days ago.  I live in one of those households were the dishwasher has a name.  It’s mine.  I wasn’t upset. In fact, it gave me a sense of satisfaction, not because I was angry and it felt good to break a plate.  The broken plate gave me a sense of satisfaction because seeing something broken always feels like there’s a possibility for something new.  Out with the old, in with the new as the saying goes.

A broken plate felt like the symbol of transition, a change is coming.  I didn’t fear it.  I relished it.  It was a beautiful plate.  It still is in its brokenness. A previously complete set isn’t complete anymore.  I  could go to the store I bought it from, get a replacement and put the set back together. Do the same old thing, but I knew I wasn’t going to do that.  Truth be told, I already gave the cups to the set away several months ago. I felt the winds of change even then, so no, there would be no repurchasing of the same plate.  The breakage puts me at three plates from a set of five, five salad plates, five bowls,  and zero cups.    I guess I only break plates…and those cups I broke before I gave the remainder away:-)

  I came up with a clever plan where I would buy one place setting at a time, each with a new pattern, complementary coloring of course.  In the end, I would have eight new place settings with different patterns with similar color schemes.  I thought it would make for an eclectic table, and my dinner guests would always have something to talk about…and I would be entertained.  It felt like a neat way to live life as well.  I wouldn’t conform to the same old pattens everyday.  I could live an eclectic existence, and do something different on a regular, not quite daily basis.  It gets me out of the same old routine and I get to explore new ways of living.  Change is inevitable.  We can be as careful and cautious as we want, but breakage is bound to happen. No need to fear it.  Let it take you on a new journey.  Buy a new plate.

Inspiration planning Pondering

The best laid plans of mice and men…

I had a plan.  I always have a plan.  Ask me how often the plan turns out exactly the way I imagined it would.  I’ll wait… Exactly, zero percent of the time.  Am I a poor planner?  Are the plans any good? I usually think so.  The exact one thing that usually goes wrong is that execution takes waaay longer than I thought. 

So, I build more time into my plans and they still take longer than I thought.  It leads me to ask several questions.  Am I planning the wrong things?  Is my execution poor?  Am I even on the right journey?  Oh yea, I get real philosophical real quick.

There are times when my plans turn out really well.  I live in a city with a lot of traffic, and I do mean a lot, so I always give myself plenty of time to get to my destination.  99% of the time, I’m early.  Exactly right doesn’t seem to be an option for me when it comes to my plans.

The real truth about plans is that they can give you a sense of being in control when you don’t really feel that way.  They give your world a structure.  The trick is to relax when the plans you made don’t work out the way you thought they would.  Going with the flow of whatever is happening and trusting that you can handle whatever happens becomes the plan.

Changes Pondering Uncategorized

Ch. Ch. Ch. Choices

The best thing about life is also the scariest thing.  You get to decide what you want to do with yours.  We always have choice.

I remember back in college. I met this kid who knew exactly what he wanted to be when he grew up.  He was going to be a small town doctor.  He was going to be a doctor in his hometown in Georgia and make house calls just like his father did, and his father before him.  Boy, was I envious.  Growing up I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I’m not even sure I know now.  I liked lots of things, and despised just as many.

The running joke when I was in college was that I changed my major every week, or at least quarterly.  I only changed my major once officially, from civil engineering to rhetoric and communications(true story).  I was however in constant discussion about a new class or idea I was exploring.  Did I have a love for civil engineering?  Nope. I was however very good at math in high school and I had a guidance counselor who was completely absent of guidance.  I think I may have met with her once.  She saw a kid with stellar grades in math, so engineering was the major for me, or so she decided. I got to pick the discipline.  I wasn’t completely oblivious.  I chose the college I wanted to go to for all of my own reasons, one being if I didn’t like civil engineering, they had other majors I was interested in.

In between civil engineering and rhetoric and communications, I went from landscape architecture to plant science to physical education to a love for marketing and chemistry to anthropology and many more I probably don’t recall.  At one point I was going to design exercise wear for Paula Abdul or work for a cosmetics company like Revlon.  My plan was to formulate my own lipstick colors of course.  I loved chemistry.

From the first day to the last I took a wide variety of classes: anthropology, engineering basics and calculus.  Every time I’d take a class pointing to a career I was interested in, only to be bored by the class.  It was quite the adventure. I would never trade it.  Economics, art history, a smattering of everything until I started to take rhetoric classes, then literature classes, and communications classes both interpersonal and organizational.  That’s when I started to light up.  Lots of writing in there, which I wasn’t so great at in the beginning, and found to be drudgery.  But, I felt its importance immediately.  Self-expression, the communicating of ideas, I loved it.  I wanted more of it.  I wanted to be better at it.  I even learned how to give a speech. 

What I really learned is that my ideas and opinions were valuable and it was okay for me to express myself. 

I interviewed for a reporting job after I graduated and got it.  Here’s the kicker, it was as a sports reporter in a city so small I don’t even remember the name of it.  Oh, and there’s the fact that I didn’t know ANYTHING about sports.  Apparently, I was the only one who interviewed for the job…clearly. 

I love Bob Costas to this day, but I cannot do what he does. He is a sportscaster as well as a writer.  He group up loving sports.  I did not.  I was not a sports loving kid.  I can’t state the truth in that enough.  I was NOT a sports loving kid.  Like a lot of girls I took the occasional dance class and watched gymnastics during the Olympics.  That’s the end of that sports story.

When you’re young, having to find your way in the world and discover who you are can be quite scary, actually as an adult too, but when you have some years on you, you realize that change happens all the time and it’s not as scary as you thought it would be; in your youth, not so much.

“Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.”

                                                                                    Mark Twain

Change is inevitable.  Choices are always available.  One day at a time, one choice at a time, that’s how I’ve decided(see that choice there) to live my days, me and nature creating miracles together, or at least a life of my choosing. 


My Chanel Meditation

Chanel Photo
dear god

you know how i’m always praying for peace for mankind? and i mean it when i’m doing it but people are crazy, so that seems like a no win situation right now what with Syria and Ukraine and the islamic state of whatever they’re calling themselves right now. I could go on but you already know i’m sure. i’ve been feeling like i can’t make a difference in the world and i want to see some points in my accomplishment column. well i thought i’d change up a bit. i’ve never asked for clothing but this is an exceptional instance. i was perusing the august issue of Vogue and i saw a couple of photos that struck my fancy, nice quaint phrasing right?
the clothes spoke to me. you know how i just cleaned out my closet and donated a bunch of stuff right? well i’m going to need to replenish the closet with new goodies and by goodies i mean clothes and shoes and scarves and well other stuff. i need to wear something right? something might as well be really good.
any who, i promise to look cute in it when i wear it and i won’t throw out tons of attitude but it is Chanel so that implies that there must be some ‘tude but i will keep it within reason and i won’t smack anybody. i can’t say i won’t think about it. you know i’ve been trying right? there’s that guy i always say hello to and then call him a jerk in my head. well, i’ve started apologizing after i call him a jerk, even though he totally deserves it, but i apologize in my head anyway because i know it can be perceived as wrong. any way if you make sure i get those clothes i will make an effort to be a better human being like i’ll do more recycling and donate some more stuff to charity and by the way i just renewed my PBS membership, for the children of course, and that should count as something. i didn’t even ask for a thank you gift and they totally offered it to me. see. i’m trying anyway so i’m thinking if i buy the outfit could you make sure i get the money back as quickly as possible and by quickly i mean i don’t want to spend it at all but i do want the clothes, and by “clothes” i mean the shoes and bag that go with them because we cannot short change the look right? anyway that’s my prayer/chat/meditation for now. thanks for always listening.
i bet i could totally make a difference wearing one of those outfits. did i mention there are two of them? and if you want i will say a prayer for peace while actually wearing them, that’s if you want, but my mind probably wouldn’t be in the right place right then seeing as i was wearing my first Chanel. did i mention it would be my first Chanel? i’m not talking lipstick or blush i’ve totally had that, but clothes. i’m getting excited just thinking about it and you know how tired i’ve been lately. i totally deserve this! i totally would have gotten that promotion if was wearing Chanel. Anna Wintour would totally take my calls if i were wearing Chanel. i mean i’ve never tried to call her but if i did who knows?
is it to much to ask how these items will be delivered? i know. i’ve said too much. shhh. i’ll be quiet now and wait for the miracle. i need to look good when i’m wearing the September issue of Vogue.


Starting Line

Nothing happens if you don’t take the first step.  Running.  Flossing.  Healthy Eating. Meditation.  We all want to do it.  It appies to all endeavors in life. You think those Olympians started out that good? Here’s a meditation to help you take the first step.  It’s beautifully simple, courtesy of MC Chopra.

Cute title right?  It’s also the name of an athletic shoe store in Venice/Marina del Ray

You’re welcome;-) D


Waterfall Meditation





   How do I know this thing is working?  The  deeper I go the more I know.  Sounds mysterious, but I can feel it working.  Remember, I‘m the one who lives my life intuitively.  I want to find out how much I can change my life with meditation so the practice continues.  When I first started meditating I had no expectations.  I still don’t.  So, I was really surprised when I started to cry. I think it was about a month in. I thought it was a one time thing.  It wasn’t.  I think it took me about four days before I realized that it was something that was going to continue for awhile.  I stopped meditating in the morning because I didn’t want to go to work upset.   I was letting go. Maybe I should say, the deeper I go the more I let go.  I kept getting the tears for more than three months.

 Meditation is a great way to explore that part of yourself that seems unreachable.     

  I love what meditation has done for me so far so or but I want more.  I want a lot more.  I want peace of mind.  Is that possible?  I’m determined to find out.  I’m feeling like there’s more something that I need to let go.  I feel that because I can see that there are patterns in my life I continue to repeat and I want to let them go.  I’ve seen progress with meditation.  

  Redemption Song.   “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery” Bob Marley.  Not a reggae fan?  Me not so much, but so many people have sung that song. It’s been stuck in my head for almost two week now so I kind of feel like I’m on the right track.