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Changes Inspiration Meditation Musings Pondering Reflections

Hey You. Yeah, you!

I want to be seen. I want to be acknowledged, most people do, if not all.  A hello or a nod on the street goes a long way.  The problem with growing up in a limited household is that people didn’t always get that attention.  Everybody is or was always too busy.  Folks don’t recognize the importance of acknowledging their fellow man. Or, maybe they do, but they don’t want to be the first to do it.  No one wants to be put in a position to be taken advantage of, or to feel like the nerd.  No one wants to do it first. What about me we’re asking. I acknowledge you. Who’s acknowledging me? The trick is to fill your own cup first, like that whole airplane oxygen mask thing.  Put the oxygen mask over your face first.  

  A lot of people didn’t get what they felt they needed emotionally as children so there’s a constant feeling of emptiness, an unfulfilled need, a half-filled cup with a drip drop of water not allowing the cup to be filled.   The cup is also tipped slightly so even if there were a steady flow of water, the cup never gets filled.  You’re the cup. You got that right?!  What to do first? Sit the cup upright on a stable foundation and let the flow of emotional water fill your cup.

 When we start out with lack, our first instinct is to seek fulfillment outside ourselves.  As we hopefully blossom into mature adults, we grow to understand that fulfillment comes from within.  Emotional fulfillment comes from within.  So, we start to exercise that muscle. We gradually start to take care of ourselves first.  We then stop looking for fulfillment  outside of ourselves. We start to dwell in that feeling of, “so, this is what it’s like to feel taken care of.” Not gonna lie.  It can feel uncomfortable, as new things do.  It can even feel a little scary, maybe even a lot. You bask in the feelings and start to ask yourself, if I can take care of myself, then why do I need other people?  Don’t worry.  You don’t need to have other people take care of you, but it can still feel desirable to have company.  It feels better having company around when you’re emotionally healthy.

  Start with something small. Acknowledge yourself.  Look in the mirror and say “hello.” Look yourself right in the eye and say “hello.” Really look.  Hang there for about five seconds, perhaps three if it gets to be too much. That’s it. Go on with your day.

  We don’t realize it but we are in front of mirrors several times throughout the day: brushing our teeth, combing our hair, putting on makeup, sunscreen, washing our faces, washing our hands after using the bathroom. You are washing your hands afterwards? Right? Every time? Every time! Well, there’s usually a mirror there. Look into it. Say, “hello,” five, four, three, two, one.  That is all. Acknowledge you first. Build that muscle, then we’ll go from there.

Categories
Education Inspiration

So, this happened.

You ever take a book from your bookshelves you’ve had for years and start to read it?  And guess what? It’s perfect for you at this time in your life.

Now I’ve had quite a year of at home inner adventures.  At one point, I decided to clean kondomari-esquely.  I know it’s not a word but the idea is, I decluttered A LOT.  Anybody familiar with the Marie Kondo books?  The bookshelves alone took weeks.  Amazon and I are close friends, and not just for books y’all.  My local librarians also know my face very well. Go public libraries!

I spent weeks sorting through my bookshelves looking to let go and inspire others.  I let go of the books I’ve read that I knew I wasn’t going to read again. Did they bring me joy?  Of course they did and it was time to share that joy with others.  I let go of books on my shelves that I thought I would read, but never did.  Can I just tell you, I don’t even remember those titles. You know how you collect titles.  Someone told me to read this person’s work.  Okay, I’ll get it.  Ooh, that looks interesting.  Buy it.  That NPR Story sounds amazing.  Got it!  I’m doing me, I want to know something.  I usually look for answers in a book first.  You can’t really learn dance moves in a book, but you get the idea. 

There those titles sat with their read and unread brethren…not being read.  It occurred to me to let them go.  Did I feel lighter after they were gone?  I sure did. Have I bought any new books?  Yes, but not nearly as many as before.  It’s worth repeating, not anywhere near the amount I’ve bought before. I filled the local lending libraries around my neighborhood. Here are a few.  Aren’t they cute?! They are sponsored by the local neighborhood organization.

 

I still have books on the shelves that I haven’t read yet.  I’ve kept the ones I sincerely think I’m going to get around to reading:-)  There are books I’ve read many many times and will continue to do so: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz to name two.  I have books that have made me laugh and still do just thinking about them and yup, a bunch of reference stuff, you know, for reference, lots of books for classes I’ve taken and books for things I want to learn e.g. cooking in certain cultures and chess strategy. The plan is to live a good long life and get around to reading every one of them in perfect time.  Summer is a good time to pick up a book.  What are you reading?